Broken Laws
by Allychik6
Summary: Inuyasah has one, small, tiny...Okay, very LARGE problem. Kagome has been arrested! And now Cowboy Bebop Charaters and other anime's are all mixed up! But that's not the worst part...Inuyasha is on the team to fix it! How will he deal with this?
1. The problem and the propostion

**Author: Warning! Warning! Warning! If you have not yet read/watched/have any small piece of information about any of the following DO NOT read because you will not understand what is going on. Inuyasha, Cardcaptors, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, Spirited Away, Chobits, and Tsubasa. I shall try to explain a bit, but I can't explain the whole series to you. You have been warned.**

**Anime's that Appear in this chapter: Inuyasha.**

**Inuyasha is a half dog demon trying to gather the shards of the Sacred Jewel. He works with Kagome who can sense the shards and is the reincarnate of a priests names Kikio. Kikio and Inuyasha used to be a couple and Inuyasha is still pining for her. (Author: But we all know he REALLY loves Kagome...)**

**Broken Laws**

**Chapter 1: The Problem and the Proposition**

_This is the story of the near collapse of the Anime worlds. Yes I did say worlds. Each Anime is a completely different world, but still connected to all the others, rather like providences in a country. Each one functions separately but still relies on an overall government to keep order between them all. _

_So in other words, Inuyasha, Cardcaptor Sakura, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, and others are all connected by the Anime Police. It is our job to enforce the Anime Laws, which were written by the esteemed Ryan Shellito and Darrin Bright. I claim no authority over these ever so holy laws; I am merely in charge of overseeing that they are obeyed_

_That is of course where this story starts, with me in my office, sorting through various issues and problems, keeping the peace and monitoring the laws._

"Let's see, flying midgets will work nicely here. If only I could use some oompa-loompas! Hmmm, but I was banned from Willy Wonka. Hmmm."

I was sitting in my comfy leather chair, considering world domination and basically ignoring the rest of the world. Unfortunately, it seems the rest of the world cannot cope without me.

"Excuse me sir, but you wanted to know if Kagome and Kikyo ever started to—"

"Please shut the door Tim." I said while still contemplating my plans. Tim had a problem with over exaggerating the trivial and shutting doors. Many good campaigns were wasted due to extra ears. "Now, continue."

"Well, sir, there was a causality this time."

Of course I didn't bother to look up. When Anime characters got into these horrible spats, as they were wont to do, someone almost certainly died. The one killed was brought here, resurrected, and then returned with a free pass to the Break Room. "How many times do I have to tell you to report the whole story, Tim? The little information you have just provided tells me nothing important."

"Sorry sir." He said looking properly remorseful. "Kagome and Kikyo were fighting as usual over—"

Someone pounded mercilessly on my door. "Open up Officer Ralton! I have a—"

I hurriedly grabbed the papers spread all over my desk and clutched them greedily to my chest. "Go away Jean! I'm busy!"

"But sir, I have Inu—"the door splintered and the shattered pieces fell all over the place as the Dog Demon Inuyasha entered.

"Where's Kagome?" He demanded.

Well, obviously these people would not go away until I solved all of their pathetic problems and so I calmly put my papers in the top desk drawer. "I see they confiscated your Tetsusaiga this time."

Inuyasha cracked his knuckles in that most infuriating way he has on TV. "Where's Kagome? I'm not leaving until I find her! Even if I have to shred this building to bits!"

A third party entered. "Excuse me Officer Ralton, but you're needed in the jail house immediately. It seems—"

"Ralton! I need you immediately. It is a matter of utmost urgency!"

Damn that migraine medicine. It always wore off at the most inopportune moments, like now. "Silence!" I yelled, casting my Authority over the room. Sometimes it was most helpful to be a man with a nice office, one that gave you some measure of control over the occupants. So, after that outburst only I retrained the ability to speak.

Tim stood by waiting patiently knowing I would address him first as he was the first to enter my domain. Jean also stood passively contemplating the minimal words required to tell me his news. The third person, whom I have no name for, tapped his toe as the only sign of his impatience. And Inuyasha tried to remain still, but I could see the tension in his muscles and the desire to take his rage out on someone was clear upon his face. I got a perverse pleasure out of watching this sort of thing.

"Tim, I no longer require your services as I now have a full understanding of the situation. Please leave. Jean, please remain in my office with Inuyasha while I speak with whatever-your-name-is in the hall." I remained seated behind my desk, trying to right its mess. This type of situation never bode well for me. "Well, get moving people!"

Tim left quietly, but Jean had to restrain Inuyasha. He still managed a rude hand gesture. Ignoring him, I stepped into the hall, which was much to my dismay empty.

"Officer Ralton, I am to give you this missive." He held out a small piece of paper.

Carefully scrutinizing the man, I snatched the paper. He looked off into the abyss just like an underdog, waiting for me to respond. I hate that.

"You may leave now." I glared, but broke open the seal. The letter was short but said more then I really needed to know. "Not again." I mumbled. "You tell your superior that I can handle this by myself, and you boys better keep your noses out of it!" I crumpled the note and walked back into my office.

Somewhere in that action I tried to slam the door, but forgot that Inuyasha had destroyed it, which caused me to spin, crash into the frame, and then fall down. And all of that caused Inuyasha to fold over with unheard laughter. Unheard because he was still under my Authority.

I glared at him and sat down. Unfortunately I missed the chair and Inuyasha fell over clutching his side.

Trying to ignore the crunching and crashing of his incessant rolling, I glanced at my desk. During my absence the requests had come rolling in. Miroku, Shippo, Naraku, Sesshomahru, even bloody Jakken had written to complain about the arrest of Kagome. Before my eyes chaos covered my desk.

Inuyasha finally stopped rolling and stared transfixed by my desk. Jean waited patiently by the door. I ignored all three annoyances and concentrated on the problem at hand: getting rid of Inuyasha and saving the anime worlds...again.

In order to plan this I would need the assistance of one of the sneakiest, most devious people here, my beloved Erin. Well, I would need her and my trusty book of Anime Laws. "Get me Erin!" I screamed into the phone.

She arrived within minuets and I explained the situation. "Well, first of all you need the traditional five. You need someone to fix the worlds, a body guard, someone who can mingle with the crowd and get anyone out of trouble, someone who knows all the worlds, and the annoying sidekick."

"I hate that law." I mumbled. "Let's seem that means Minmei, Zelda, and Merqueecrinienr. But I need two more people. Tell me Erin, how can I need two more people and who can I use?"

I pondered the question while Erin spoke with Inuyasha. For some reason she seemed able to understand his crude hand motions. Another match of letters arrived, all declaring that if Kagome wasn't released they would quit. Wait a minute, Inuyasha would make an excellent body guard! Unfortunately he would never agree, unless I managed to drop all of Kagome's charges! That left only one more position to fill.

"Damn Law! I don't need a fifth person! And for that matter I don't have one!" I screamed in frustration.

Then sensible, creative Erin found away around that particular problem. "Just use a stuffed animal. You know, that's how Sakura hid Kero for so long, so you can do the opposite."

"That just might work! Erin, darling, do me a favor please, bring Minmei, Zelda, and Merqueecrinienr to my office."

She nodded smiling and left.

"Now, Inuyasha, I have a proposition for you. I will remove Kagome from jail and clear her record of all charges if you do something for me." I laid the bait carefully and waited patiently for him to bite, which he did.

"What do you want?"

"I have a mission that requires someone of your skills. The anime worlds are colliding, mixing together. I need you to act as a body guard for my team." He glared at mew and I could practically read the refusal on his lips. "If you don't, Kagome just might rot in jail for the next fifty years."

"Fine." He grudgingly agreed.

"Good, now, let's meet the rest of your team."

**Okay, now you may be asking yourself what is the point to this lovely little fic...Let me tell you over my travels as an internet user, I have come across a lovely list of Anime Laws and have decided to break them all in one fic, this fic. Lovely isn't it. It is in this space that I shall inform you as to which Laws were broken in the previous chapter. Today's laws are...**

#7 Law of Temporal Mortality- 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways-either so quick they don't see it coming OR is is a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existance, or why the toast always lands butter side down.

#8 Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...regardless of physical damage. Even when 'Bad Guys' die so quickly they don't see it coming it takes them a while to realize they're dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain. SA

Thanks for reading now, please review!!!


	2. The team

****

**Okay, for those of you who are very confused... review and tell me! I can't fix the confusing parts if I don't know what they are!**

**Anime's that appear in this chapter: Inuyasha**

**Chapter 2: The Team**

Pride gushed through my veins as I surveyed me team. We had Minmei, one of the most intelligent agents to join my department. She had a keen fashion sense, liked to converse with people, and had an excellent judge of character. In fact, when I joined the Anime Police over two hundred years ago she helped me make all the right connections.

Of course most of those people didn't last through my first world domination plot. They called me crazy, psychotic and in one case a plain loon. Oh well.

Minmei, today, was dressed in a stunning blue shirt covered in shinny sequins and open in the back. It went well with her luscious blond hair and tight black pants. Most men in the Force here had a small thing for her, but in my opinion no one could compare to MY Erin!

Next was Zelda. She had also stood by my side since the beginning and never failed me once. In fact she gave me the best compliment I have ever received. I glow just remembering it; she called me the most diabolical, evil, and twisted man she had ever met! Obviously she'd never met Eriol Hiiragizawa form Cardcaptors.

Anyway, Zelda has an unparalleled skill with electronics and she developed the equipment that most people use for surveillance. Of course, I now have a wonderful method for spying on my comrades and exhorting their weaknesses became a simple matter.

Unfortunately she has a little problem with being a ditz. It has caused more then a few problems in the past. She liked to change her hair color a lot and right now it was a lovely lavender shade. It matched her very cute pinkish-purple dress.

Then there was Merqueecrinienr, his name sort of explains a lot. He was easily the most annoying, controversial character in existence and I happened to work with him. Merqueecrinienr himself was a living oxymoron that managed to break all of the laws and yet worked for them. He broke the law of Feline Mutation by only having cat eyes and dressing as any normal person would. He was also fourteen years old and did as little work as possible in twice the amount of time it would take an adult to do twice the amount of work. That little fact tended to annoy the hell out of everybody, especially as he made more money then anyone else. For that matter, he wasn't very smart, just a smart ass. I found it quiet funny.

Smiling I handed Inuyasha a bio on each of the three. "Here's come information on your team mates. Study it well; you probably won't learn much else."

He glanced down at them. "But it's just a picture and a name! And who's this Mer- Merqu-This?" Inuyasha pointed to Merqueecrinienr's name.

Merqueecrinienr rolled his eyes. "Bob, it's pronounced Bob."

"Inuyasha glared at Bob. "Isn't there some law about five people? We only have four!"

I grinned. Erin sometimes called it my devilishly happy grin because apparently it made me look evil. "Here, this is your fifth member."

"But-But that's a stuffed hippo!"

The other members burst into fits of laughter. "My good man, you have an awful lot to learn about Ralton here!"

More laughter. With this type of comradery the mission was sure to succeed.

**I know, short chapter, but I had to introduce a bunch of new charaters. Please Review!Laws (We have lots of them this time)**

#17 Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minmei is a bimbo

#18 Law of demonic consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

#23 Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter then adults. And almost twice as annoying.

#26 Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

1) be female

2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation

3) wear as little clothing as possible

#34 Law of probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines. Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to torn to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore mentioned females clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). When ever there is a head wind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don't hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Second Corollary (indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

#36 Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-Man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

1) The Hero/Leader

2) His Girlfriend

3) His Best Friend/Rival

4) A Hulking Brute

5) A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

1) Extreme Coolness

2) Amazing Intelligence

3) Incredible Irritation

#42 Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

**remember, everyone loves a little review!**


	3. Continuing the Story

**Anime's that Appear in this Chapter: Inuyasha, Card Captors**

**Inu- Miroku has a hole in his hand that can suck anything up called a Kazanna (Naraku, the evil bad guy, put it there). Naraku killed Songo's whole family and holds her brother captive. Kirara, Songo's "pet" demon. Kouga is Inuyasha's arch enemy. He has sworn undying love to Kagome which really annoys Inuyasha.**

**CCS- Sakura accidentally released a bunch of magical cards (they came out of a book) out into the world and is charged with brining them back. Kero and Yue are her Guardians and Syaoran was once her enemy but then he got a crush on her and started helping. Her Brother's name is Touya and he doesn't like Syaoran. Yue has another form Yukito, Yukito is a friend (cough has a crush on cough) of Touya's.**

**Author note: I forgot to mention in the last chappie, but Bob is a demon. Oh yea, and kate (she's one of my reviewers who has read a lot of my stuff and corrects all of my spelling) I DID SPELL HIIRAGIZAWA RIGHT!!!!!!!! **

**Chapter 3: Continuing the Story**

_So that's how this particular story started, with more broken laws then I cared to count. Nine to be precise! Nine! Unfortunately that wasn't the end to the criminal acts. Oh no, I couldn't get that lucky now could I?_

_Now with my history of world domination attempts, one might wonder why a few broken laws would bother me. But I'll have the asker know that in two hundred years, with eighty-six attempts, and over a thousand plots, I have never, ever, never broken any of the Anime Laws. That would be why I am still employed and not rotting in jail._

_But that's off topic. Thus far in this love little jaunt through the Anime Worlds I have guided you. The explanations came from me and the descriptions were told from my point of view. But only part of this story is mine to tell. Although I did receive a through briefing from each of the characters and even managed to witness a few sights, I do not have all the information that you will require._

_So, instead, Inuyasha shall continue the tale._

* * *

Damn that stupid Ralton. How dare he blackmail me, ME, into working with these-these humans! They positively reeked! Not that I don't trust any humans. Miroku, Songo and Kagome are the decent sort, but these three? I refused to trust them. _Bob_ reminded me too much of that mangy cur Kouga. And the other two—well they just left a bad taste in my mouth.

"We'll, I do believe we ought to get started." Bob smiled wildly. He most of all pissed me off.

Bob sauntered towards the nearest corner and the other two followed him, leaving me with that damn stuffed animal. With no one else to glare at, I glared at it. This whole this just pissed me off. "The door is over there." I pointed to the opposite corner.

They cracked up laughing. "It's obvious who the new guy is here. Inuyasha, we use magic to get from place to place. It took us about two days to figure that out last time." Zelda smiled at me.

"This has happened before?"

"There have been three thousand, two hundred, and sixty-eight incidents since the first Anime was created. Officer Ralton has dealt with each incident and most of us have been with him since the beginning." Bob remarked in that damn stupid tone that Kouga had.

I stuck my tongue out at his back.

"Come on, Inuyasha, we must get to the first problem." Zelda called loudly and reached out to grab me. But she missed.

A sharp pain lanced through me head and three hairs fell from my scalp. "Hey! What'd'ya do that for!"

"Come on."

The air sparkled with blue confetti and green spirals and Bob continued to smile that creepy smile. Slowly the room dissolved. "Wait! I change my mind!"

When the ground reappeared I took about five steps away from everyone. Wait a minute! I knew that tree and that rock and bush. And just over that hill was...I ran over leaving the others to fend for themselves. Yep, there was the Well. It's old battered wood with vines growing all over it, how well I knew that well. In fact if you really wanted to know, I could probably tell you the exact number of dirt clods on the bottom.

"Stop Syaoran! Stop!" A girl's voice broke through the clearing. "I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it!"

The voice sounded a little bit like Kagome's but higher pitched. I sniffed the air, Miroku's scent, Kagome's scent sort of lingered, the whole gang. I could smell them and two more. One was tinted with fear and the other with blood, human blood.

"Syaoran?" Minmei said softly looking past me and into the clearing. "Yes, definitely him, and Sakura too. We'd best move in and fast, before the kill each other!"

"Lock! Release!" The strange girl yelled again.

"Kazanna!"

"Stop!" Zelda, Bob, Minmei and I burst onto the scene.

And a very strange scene it was. A large beast flew through the air shooting flames at Kirara. Some demon girl fought with Songo while this small man-boy-kid tried to take on Miroku with some stupid sword.

Minmei stepped forward. "Sakura, please release Miroku from the Lock Card. Oh, and call off Kero and the Fight Card, too."

"Yes ma'am." Said the girl I somehow missed on the other side of the clearing. "Kero, would you come down here. Fight, Lock, please return to your true forms."

The blue-ish girl facing Songo bowed and then disappeared. Miroku could move again and the beast descended.

"Now that that's settled, what started this little fight?" Minmei asked gently.

"That--that--That Monk asked Sakura to--to--to--" Syaoran yelled.

"I asked her to bear my children and then he attacked me." Miroku finished calmly.

"I see, umm, Sakura, how did you get here?"

"It was an ordinary day, school had just let out and Syaoran and I went back to my house. Yukito took Touya to the movies. We were sitting in the Living room with the Book and I opened it and we were here."

"Uh-huh, did you come through the well?"

"The one over there? Yea."

Zelda walked over kind of in a daze. I backed away real fast. She looked a little scary.

"Sakura! I'm so excited to finally meet you! I'm your biggest fan!"

"Ahem!" Minmei coughed. "We're here on a mission. Please stick to it."

"Oh, yea. Umm, Sakura, do you still have the book?" The strange girl called Sakura nodded. "Would you hand it over for a moment?"

Sakura nodded again and passed it over. Zelda held it for a moment in pure awe and then collected herself and walked off into the woods mumbling.

Meanwhile, Miroku decided to glean the answer to a few of his unspoken questions. "Inuyasha how is it that you got involved with this group?"

I glared.

"Miroku!" Bob stepped foreword. "I never thought I'd get the opportunity to meet you! It's a great pleasure to see you and thank you in person for the great pick up line 'Will you bear my children?' The ladies just go nuts over it!"

"Well! It's a pleasure to finally meet someone who appreciates my efforts."

I started looking for the nearest tree to bang my head against, repeatedly. Soon the clearing was filled with both thumps and curses.

Zelda returned and handed Sakura her book back. "I do believe that takes care of one problem. Bob, would you please drop these three off on our way to the next dilemma?"

Bob smiled. "Love to!" he eyed Sakura suspiciously and Syaoran stepped protectively in front of her. "Let's go! You coming, Miroku?"

"Of course!"

"What?" I screamed. "No way! He can't come! That would break the Five Man Rule!"

"Au contraire, it would complete it. Now, let's be on our way."

"Damn!" I really hated him. "Wait! I yelled as the blue confetti showed up. "Just let me grab that—"too late, we had already left and a new world was materializing. "—tree. Damn."

****

_

* * *

Somewhere off in the distance two young men sat at a bar. Each wore a suit and tie as if just stopping by for a drink after work. One indeed had just entered, but the other started drinking around noon that morning. They both spoke English, but one had a light Japanese accent._

"_Well, Cole." The bartender asked. "What'll it be today?"_

_The American looked up from the table, "oh, a gin and tonic please."_

"'_Nother wisk'y!" The Japanese man at the end of the bar demanded loudly, banging his glass on the counter until it broke._

"_Who's that?" Cole asked._

"_Him? Oh, he's just the village idiot." The bar tender leaned closer to share more gossip._

**Can anyone guess what's up with these guys? I challenge thee to!**

**Okay, now for the laws:**

**DUN! DUN! DUN! There are none for this chappie, but I thought it was funny anyway.**


	4. The New Player

**Anime's that appear in this chapter: Inuyasha, CardCaptors, Tsubasa.**

**I hope by now that you have some understanding of Inuyasha.**

**CCS: the series takes place when the characters are only ten and eleven years old.**

**Tsubasa: Tsubasa is the CCS characters in a different dimension. Sakura has lost her spirit/memory and cannot move. Syaoran has joined up with some other people who don't appear in this story to help her get her spirit/memory back.**

**Author's note: I apologize for the lateness of the chapter, but typing time has become a premium for me. Oh! And who ever sent me the review saying I stole your worlds idea...I'm really sorry! I didn't know anyone else had ever done it!**

**Chapter 4: The New Player**

Oh yea! It's my turn to tell the story! My name is Minmei and this next part I tell best...because CERTAIN IDIOTS WEREN'T THERE!!!

Bob and Miroku had just left saying they were going to search for the next anomaly. But who actually believes those idiots. If I knew Bob (which I should considering he's my half brother) and had read Miroku correctly (as if asking every pretty woman on the street to bear his child wasn't a dead give away), they wouldn't go much farther then the park. Zelda departed under the same excuse, only I half way believed her. She would probably look for it, at least until she ran across Eriol or Touya or someone else.

But no matter, I was still left behind in case Touya and Yukito got back from the movies early. And Inuyasha stayed behind "to protect" me (as if I needed his help!). The four of us sat in the living room trying to pass the time with a little conversation. Well, Sakura and I tried to talk, but Inuyasha kind of scared us. He stared at the nearest inanimate object muttering a variety of curses. And then Syaoran sat mute in his chair. Not a very welcoming atmosphere.

"Ummm, Sakura, I have a question about something. In your series you and the others are only ten years old. So how is it that you're now, what, sixteen?"

"Seventeen and it's quiet simple. Once an Anime is finished in the 'real' world we here are free to live out our own lives and grow up."

"Ah ha! I've been wondering how that worked! If you don't mind an interrogation, I've also wondered about the invention of the break room. I heard that it originated around here."

"Oh, that's true, but I don't know much about it. You should ask Syaoran. Besides, I need to check on something in the kitchen, please excuse me."

For about two minutes the room was absolutely silent, except for Inuyasha's cursing.

"Well, the break room is actually a fairly simple idea that I had during filming. You see, Meilin and I were having problems to say the least and many a time she or I would break some law in the process. I had the idea of a room where laws could possibly be bent but not broken. It was also becoming evident that we needed a way to travel to the Police Headquarters in order to discuss potential and already existing problems."

Some day he would make an excellent professor. Unfortunately at that moment, the three cups of coffee from this morning mixed with the tea Sakura just served and I had to pee...bad. "Hold that though Syaoran, I'll be right back."

It happened just as I was lathering the lavender soap (for the third time...what! It smelled good). A loud crash came from the living room. And someone screamed.

Wasting no time at all, I dashed into the room just in time to see Syaoran collapse on top of a not moving Sakura. He kept talking to her like she could still hear him, but from the looks of it, she was dead. Of course, he didn't notice one vital thing; Sakura most defiantly didn't have that outfit on ten minutes ago.

Upon hearing the second scream, I ran into the kitchen. Now only one with as high a tolerance for the bizarre as I could fully comprehend the situation. In the kitchen another Sakura was being molested by another Syaoran. It didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

Tsubasa had just collided with CardCaptors.

Syaoran (the one from the living room) finally snapped out of his daze and charged into the kitchen, where he came face to face with himself. He immediately went into meltdown mode, crawled into a corner, and curled up in the fetal position. It wasn't long before he began muttering to himself much like Inuyasha. "It's not real, it's not real!" Over and over and over and over again.

Sakura (the moving one) did the most intelligent thing one could imagine. She hurried into the living room where she promptly fainted at the sight of herself. This if course left me with Syaoran two and Inuyasha.

Well, there was nothing else to do until one of the two regained their senses or the rest of my team came back. "Would you like some tea?"

It took no less then four hours for someone to come back and that someone was Zelda. "I couldn't find any disturbances and I doubt the boys had any better luck!" She announced. "Quite a boring town actually."

She took one look at the living room and her mouth grew wide enough to step into. "Apparently all the action happens here. But I don't want to explain it twice so you'll have to wait for the boys to come back." I told here. "Syaoran one is in the kitchen, but don't go in there. It's not a pretty sight; he looks just like Inuyasha there."

Zelda glanced over at Inuyasha, who, in all this time, hadn't bothered to stop staring at the 'dumb pillow' and continued to curse at it. "Well, what a sight!" She said sarcastically. "Wait, isn't that Li?"

"Just sit down Zelda." I told her at the same time that Bob bounced into the house and loudly informed us of his entrance as well.

"WE DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING!" He yelled loudly enough to wake Sakura who saw herself, screamed and fainted again.

Inuyasha glanced around the room, glared at everyone and then turned his attention back to the pillow.

"Ho, ho, ho, what's going on in here?" Miroku asked, eying both Sakuras.

"Touch her and die!" Tsubasa Syaoran told the lecherous monk.

Miroku promptly backed off. He had learned his lesson.

That was it, the last straw, the only one I had left, the one I couldn't afford to lose. "Everyone sit down!" I screamed. "You, Bob and Miroku, if I ever even THINK you're abandoning your JOB to check out GIRLS, I will tie you in knots so fast you won't be able to say IT" A rope magically appeared in my hands. In all actuality I pulled it from my extra dimensional storage space, but it looked like magic.

"Hey! How come I can't do that?" Zelda demanded.

"What?" I looked at her. "Don't you have an extra dimensional storage space on you?"

"No." She said innocently.

"Great there goes another law." I sighed. "Oh well, nothing to do about it now. Bob, send the Tsubasa characters home!"

"Yes ma'am." The extra Syaoran and Sakura disappeared. "Umm, shall we travel to the next place?"

"Yes!" Inuyasha suddenly cried out. "That pillow is giving me the creeps!"

And the room disappeared in the midst of green and blue.

**Broken Laws:**

#36 Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-Man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

1) The Hero/Leader

2) His Girlfriend

3) His Best Friend/Rival

4) A Hulking Brute

5) A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

1) Extreme Coolness

2) Amazing Intelligence

3) Incredible Irritation

#37 Law of Extra dimensional Capacitance-All anime females have an extra dimensional storage space if variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

First Corollary (a.k.a. The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored id a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.


	5. Damn Clow

**Anime's that appear in this chapter: Inuyasha, Spirited Away, Card Captors**

**Card Captors: Today we introduce the well known Eriol. Eriol is the reincarnate of Clow Reed (the creator of the Cards Sakura released, Kero and Yue). He meets Sakura and helps her transform the Clow Cards into Sakura Cards. But, just as Clow was, Eriol is reputed to be very devious and subtle.**

**Spirited Away: This is a movie about a girl who gets stuck in the spirit world and must work at a bath house for the spirits to save her parents. Yobabba owns the bath house. The girl meets a boy, Haku, who is actually a river spirit who can transform into a dragon. Together they defeat the owner of the bath house and rescue her parents.**

**There is a brief appearance of a smiley face that comes from Ed from Cowboy Bebop. Ed is a child computer hacker.**

**Author's Note: I would just like to point out that if I had a say in this chapter it would not have been written how it was. As it is Zelda refused to tell it any other way and we had many long battles over the style. I hate this style, it annoyed the crap out of me to write, and I will never let her write another chapter again. It took me a very long time to get this chapter out and as such I am very sorry.**

**Chapter 5: Damn Clow**

Hi, my name's Zelda and I'll be your tour guide today. In this next leg of our journey you will hear all about our lovely adventures in Spirited Away. Please do not stray from the group or touch anything as it might explode. Any questions? Good, now let's begin.

The stage is set. Just off to our right are the famous bath house and the bridge in front of it. Oh My God! The bridge looks like it's about to explode!

Our small group approaches the bridge in hopes of preventing a casualty. But before we can take a single step onto it, Haku goes flying past. Well, not flying exactly as he landed only two feet from his original position.

Miroku: Well, there goes the law of Differentiated Gravitation.

Minmei: Another law bites the dust.

None of us dare to enter onto the scene as midnight blue and light blue explosions rock everything.

Haku stands up: You stupid idiot!

He reaches out and sends a blast of energy towards a rock in front of his attacker. It didn't explode. The attacker pauses and so does Haku.

Haku: Why didn't it explode?

Both send forth their magic and yet the rock remains entirely intact.

Minmei: What is it with these stupid laws? Always malfunctioning?

If you turn your attention back to the fight you will see the boys have abandoned their efforts to destroy the rock and are now, if you'll excuse the saying, hell bent on the destruction of each other. As you continue to watch, please notice that each opponent has started to glow a most peculiar color. Amid the dust and debris two most distinct colors can be seen, yellow and green.

Minmei, shaking head: Ralton is going to have a fit.

Haku: Your name's Eriol, huh? Well, Eriol, let's see how you like my dragon form!

Haku transforms.

Miroku leans closer to Inuyasha: Was he projecting?

Inuyasha: No, yelling. His mouth just wasn't the proper size.

Miroku: Wonderful.

Haku charges Eriol, but Eriol neatly sidesteps the attack and sticks out his staff. As the dust settles you can see Haku has moved a good fifteen feet away from Eriol. There is silence.

Haku: I give up! You win.

Eriol: But I didn't hit you!

Haku: You singed a lock of hair and I don't want to risk anything else. You win.

He turns and walks passed us: Good Luck, he's beat everyone else here, including Yobabba.

Eriol: If you're here to challenge me, step onto the bridge.

Inuyasha steps up and attempts to draw his tetsusiaga. Unfortunately he never got his sword back from Ralton: Damn it all! Well, I'll just have to kill you with my bare hands.

Minmei: Wait Inuyasha. That's Eriol Hiiragizawa, as in the reincarnate of Clow, Eriol. He can help us. Don't attack him!

Inuyasha: Damn. She just saved your life, kid.

Eriol glares: What do you want? (He pauses). Minmei?

Minmei: Hello Eriol.

A ball of energy collects in Eriol's hand: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't crush you here and now?

Minmei runs to hide behind me.

Me: Old Boyfriend?

Minmei nods: Listen Eriol, we don't want to fight, we just want to return you home again.

Bob: Reincarnate of Clow, how is it that this set of collisions came about?

Eriol looks over each face, each person, carefully scrutinizing each detail: All right, I'll tell you. I was putting the finishing touches on a spell when the strangest smiley face appeared in my vision. I can only surmise that Cowboy Bebop's Ed attempted a particularly difficult hack that interfered with my spell.

Bob mumbles: damn you Clow reincarnates.

Me: well then since you started this mess, you need to come with us to fix the problem.

Inuyasha begins scanning the horizon for a good tree: Just kill me now, just kill me now. (He mumbles).

Bob: Well, I guess that solves this problem. Let's go!

Inuyasha: No! No! Noooooooooo!

Me: Ohh, pretty! Look at the pretty lights!

_The Bartender leaned in closer to gossip. "I heard that his hair color hasn't changed in several months and that it refuses to be dyed. He's stuck with that ugly black hair."_

"_Wow, that's got to be tough."_

"_Yep, and I think he lost his job over it."_

"_Really? I didn't know that was allowed."_

"_Apparently the school didn't want the police to swoop down on him. Being the village idiot though, he couldn't do his job properly and they might have just been looking for a reason to fire him."_

"_HEY, barten'er, 'nother whis'ey!"_

**Broken Laws:**

#2 Law of Differentiated Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4

#11 Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything

First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first

Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known the human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as the matchstick city.

#25 law of Mandibular proportionality- The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#29 Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil

# 31 Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32 Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons...with bladed weapons!

#36 Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-Man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

1) The Hero/Leader

2) His Girlfriend

3) His Best Friend/Rival

4) A Hulking Brute

5) A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

1) Extreme Coolness

2) Amazing Intelligence

3) Incredible Irritation


	6. Ed?

**Anime's that appear in this chapter: Inuyasha (are you getting the feeling that this one appears in every chapter?) CardCaptors, and Cowboy Bebop.**

**You people are smart, do I have to explain CardCaptors and Inuyasha? I didn't think so.**

**Cowboy Bebop: A Cowboy is a bounty hunter. Spike is a super good martial artist who can't die. Fey is a girl born 50 or 60 years in the past and was recently brought out of sleep. She's a very kick ass girl. Jet used to work for the police but after getting messed up on a mission he quite to be a cowboy. Ein is a dog; he has more intelligence then anyone on the ship (except possibly Ed cause she actually knows what he says...but then Ed is...umm..Ed). Now Ed, I think she's ten, but I could be wrong. She is actually a girl but always refers to herself in the third person and is the best hacker around. She has her own personal walk and acts totally insane but you just have to love her! And the Bebop is their spaceship.**

**Author's note: Okay, since I write everything in a notebook before I type it up, this is a chapter that was added after I wrote the bonus chapter. When I get that up this note will immediately make sense.**

**Chapter 6: Ed?**

"Ralton! Ralton!" Tim came bursting into my office. "Kikyo's not dead! Since she was already dead she couldn't die again!"

I looked up from the TV screen on my desk. "Well then, has Kagome been released from jail yet? Since she committed no permanent crime." I saw the body and indeed she had defied the laws. Kikyo fell immediately after receiving the killing blow and she died in the long drawn out fashion, but obviously doesn't understand why toast lands butter side down. I could tell simply by looking at her face.

"Yes sir. She has also been alerted to the Inuyasha situation and is currently on her way here to speak with you."

"Wonderful, just wonderful. And just who told her about Inuyasha?"

"Why, I did sir."

Breathe, breath. I reminded myself in an attempt not to decapitate Tim. He only did what he thought was right...it was wrong but that's despite the point. "You may leave now Tim."

"Thank you sir."

Great, first Inuyasha joined my little troupe and has yet to do something important, at least thirteen laws broken, and now Kagome wanted to have a little chat. That was just wonderful! I sighed, a vacation sounded good right about now, a nice long one with Erin, perhaps somewhere in Europe...Ah well, best to keep an eye on the group's progress.

With my full attention turned back to the screen, I saw just how much trouble could be made by one small group.

Inuyasha was currently trying to beat the crap out of Bob for some unknown offense. Knowing Inuyasha, Bob probably smiled the wrong way or something. Ah well, it was quite entertaining to see Bob continually teleport around the room while Inuyasha tried to put him in a choke hold. Ah yes, it's the little things in life.

"Let's see what the others are up to..."

Zelda and Minmei were talking contentedly with a third person...Eriol? Well, at least they completed the Five Man Law. I turned up the sound to hear their conversation.

"I'm very sorry about it, but I thought you knew that a police officer could not date someone from a series still running."

"Well, all is forgiven now. Where has Miroku gone off too? Bob didn't take him home did he?"

Miroku? Miroku joined the group. That makes Zelda, Bob, Minmei, Inuyasha, Eriol, AND Miroku. One, two, three, four, five, six, SIX! There goes that law again. Best see what trouble Miroku had gotten himself into.

I flipped through the channels attempting to catch a glimpse of him. Rusted hull, cute dog, beat up computer, young child, more rusted walls. Ah ha! There he was, entering the bathroom. Good, he wasn't causing problems.

Now, time to figure out which world they had entered. Obviously one that takes place on a spaceship has a computer, a dog, and a ten year old boy. Time to identify that boy. Click. Click. Click. There! Oh no, that wasn't a boy, that was a girl, specifically Ed from Cowboy Bebop. Oh no.

Frantically I tried to find Miroku again. There he was, backing out of the bathroom, hands in the air. Apparently words escaped him. It took only one look at him to figure out who he had just walked in on. Unfortunately it broke law forty, Law of Nasal Sanguination. Miroku most definitely did not have a nose bleed.

Gun shots rang through the air as Fey charged at Miroku. "You son of a Bitch!"

I quickly switched the TV from live mode to Anime mode. And just in time too, Fey launched a perfect side kick straight at Miroku's face. And that was it. Time did not slow down. Ah well, perhaps for the second showing. But no! That scene was not shown again. Damn it all! Why did these laws pick now to malfunction? Why? Why?

I bemoaned my horrible luck, but continued to watch with unabashed horror. It didn't take long for my displeasure to increase ten fold.

The camera angle backed out and I saw a small amount of blood trickle down the side of Miroku's face. He was howling away in pain for a tiny little scratch on his face. All of a sudden he fell and the rest of the team came running onto the scene.

Next thing I knew, Bob had teleported Miroku into my office, picked him up and gone running out of the room. Naturally I gave chase and the three of us passed Kagome in the hall. In another few minutes we reached the hospital wing. The why to that statement became obvious as blood began to soak through the robes right around Miroku's midriff.

The doctor took one look at Miroku and called for a surgery room and several nurses. Both Bob and I were delegated to sit in the waiting room.

"What happened?" I asked, already dreading the answer.

"Well..." bob started out slowly, "When I got on the scene, Fey had just umm, well she had..." He shook his head. "Well, let's just say the law of nasal Sanguination failed and the blood decided to migrate south. And Fey didn't like it so she ripped his...ummm...thing off. Then he went berserk and the law of Inconsequential Undetectablility was shot along with the law of Phlogiastatic Emission. Meanwhile Spike and Jet have disappeared and we left Zelda to manage the Bebop."

I ran as if an entire race of killers were on my trail and got to my office just in time to see Zelda break the law of Technological User-Benevolence.

Wonderful. Just Wonderful.

"_Apparently the school didn't want the police to swoop down on him. Being the village idiot though, he couldn't do his job properly and they might have just been looking for a reason to fire him."_

"_HEY, barten'er, 'nother whis'ey!"_

"_You've had enough, you lazy drunk!" The bartender yelled at him._

_Cole shook his head and looked down at his drink. What was this place coming to? He saw a different law broken everyday, yesterday it was the Law of Mandibular Proportionality, today, Americanthropomorphism._

"_Men these days," The bartender scoffed. "Can't take care of for all the anime Laws."_

"_Yea, well, it seems that this guy doesn't know very much. If I didn't know any better he's break the law of Americanthropomorphism."_

"_Yea, well, he does." The bartender leaned over the bar. "He actually agrees with the American Editors and Censors."_

"_Oh, my."_

**Broken Laws:**

#6 Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not constant. Time stops for a hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#9 Law of Dramatic Emphasis- scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10 Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- scenes that only happen once, for instance 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are scene three different times from three different angles.

#12 Law of Phlogistatic Emissions- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#22 Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- people never notice the little things...like missing body parts or wounds the size of Seattle.

#24 Law of Americanthropomorphism—Americans appear in one of two roles, either as a really annoying skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

First Corollary—the only people who are more stupid the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)

Second Corollary—the only people who are more stupid then the American translators are the American editors and censors.

#28 Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#40 Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though...the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see law #38). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariable get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of blood flow to that region.


	7. The 60 billion double dollars

**Anime's that appear in this chapter: Inuyasha, CardCaptors, Cowboy Bebop, Trigun**

**Cowboy Bebop: A Cowboy is a bounty hunter. Spike is a super good martial artist who can't die. He's obsessed without bounties that are hard to get. Jet used to work for the police but after getting messed up on a mission he quit to be a cowboy. He's the more cautious type. And the Bebop is their spaceship. A woulong is the currency in this anime.**

**Trigun: Vash the Stampede has a bounty on his head of 60 Billon double Dollars. He is reputed to be the worst outlaw ever and to have destroyed countless cities. For that matter people are unsure of how many he has killed as well. Note that is his reputation. In reality, Vash has never killed anyone and the only reason the cities are destroyed is because people try to capture him for the bounty on his head.**

**Author note: Miroku is telling this story, but he didn't bother to tell anyone. He just plunged into the story. (Author sits and thinks for a moment) I think he's afraid of staying in a room too long with me...hmmm.**

**Chapter 7: 60 Billion Double Dollars**

Minmei and Zelda laughed as I walked back into the Bebop ship. Fey had left screaming obscenities about some men named Spike and another called Jet. If she ever found either one, I most certainly would offer up a prayer for their souls.

"So Miroku, I hear you lost your head. You know, the one you think with!" Inuyasha clapped his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to remain standing.

I chose to ignore the insult and direct my attention towards Bob. "So, Bob, have you located the next glitch?"

Bob nodded once and the room disappeared behind a flurry of blue confetti and green spirals.

A searing hot wind smashed into my face nearly knocking me onto the dust that posed as sand. Off in the distance a most peculiar banging sound could be heard.

"Well everyone, welcome to Gunsmoke, how of Vash the Stampede." Minmei said very softly.

"Vash the who?" I asked just in time to see a very tall man with spiky yellow hair and a crimson red trench coat go running past.

"Duck!" Zelda yelled, grabbing and pulling me out of the way of a nasty little projectile.

"What was that?" I demanded.

"Kagome didn't explain guns to you?" Minmei asked, genuinely surprised. "Don't you watch any other Anime's in the Break Room?"

Inuyasha gave a loud sigh. "No, he doesn't. He spends ALL his free time chasing women." He rolled his eyes. "Miroku, a gun is a machine that throws little bots of metal at high speeds. It's very deadly and you should stay out of the way." Inuyasha stepped in front of me and attempted to draw his Tetsusuiga. "Damn it all." He cursed.

Meanwhile a tall bushy headed brunette went running past and we all gave chase, Inuyasha in the lead. Pretty soon we found the first guy, Vash, up against a stone cliff and standing as though in no trouble at all.

"Ha! I just want the sixty billion woulong, I mean double dollar reward!" The second guy yelled. He leveled his weapon-gun at Vash and fired. "Whaaa! Oh well, I'll just use my fists!"

"Spike ran out of bullets." Minmei whispered. "Stupid law 15."

Vash smiled. "I got one left, could be my special." He fired, as I learned later, to miss any vital organs, but so Spike wouldn't give chase.

"But he missed! He missed!" Bob yelled jumping up and down. "He can't miss! He's the good guy!"

"D'ya catch him?" Another man came running onto the scene. He appeared to be part man and part metal, but neither at the same time.

None of them even noticed us, the spectators. "Does it look like it, Jet?" Spike sneered. "Toss me your gun!"

But while the gun was moving through the air, Vash fired another gun, one that came out of his left hand. The bullet as it hit Jet's gun also, coincidently, raked Spike's hand. And what should have been gallons and gallons of blood came out to be about two ounces.

With this, the three paused to consider the repercussions of a broken law and then noticed us. All three began speaking at the same time.

"Whoa! He shot me. This isn't my fault!"

"It's not my fault! How can I control his blood level?"

"I'm sure that as a former police officer we can work this out."

Inuyasha sized each one up while Bob stood in horror. Zelda watched with unabashed fascination and Minmei attempted to gain her composer for this encounter. None of us agreed to this kind of thing.

And then all hell broke loose. Inuyasha wanted to throw them all in jail and Bob insisted that his heroes should not be subject to such an insult. Spike started yelling at Vash and Zelda tried to stop the two. Minmei attempted to get Ralton on her radio, but had no luck. And then the guns came back out.

With a large bang everything turned black with dust. As the dust settled back down, Vash, Spike and Jet had disappeared and in their stead stood Eriol smiling and wielding the Clow Staff. Boy he scared the shit out of me!

**Broken Laws**

#15 Law of Inexhaustibility- No one ever runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16 Law of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Storm trooper Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

#18 Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.


	8. Ears

**Anime's that appear in this chapter: Inuyasha, CardCaptors, Chobits**

**Chobits: Chi is a computer who looks like girl. The only difference between the two is her ears are not human. Her owner, Hideki, is trying to find out why people think Chi is a chobit. If you really want to know about the series e-mail me and I shall attempt to tell you, but it is very complicated. For this chapter all you really need to know is that perscom's have strange ears and Minoru is a genius perscom programmer who has a really big house.**

**Author note: Bob, following in the path of his idol Miroku, also decided not to tell an introduction for his chapter. Damn them, damn them all and their stupid ways!**

**Chapter 8: Ears **

Stupid dog demon! I glared at Inuyasha through my binoculars. If Eriol hadn't appeared when he had on Gunsmoke, Inuyasha would so be stuck in the middle of no where (Literally. No where is a place where absolutely nothing exists) as I had planned. But Nooooooo, but Eriol had to travel on his own to somewhere else and then come in at the last minute and save him! Stupid dog bastard!!!

Ah well, at least for the moment, I had Inuyasha in as much torture as I could. He was currently surrounded by a rather large group of girls, all squealing and trying to touch his ears. Using my cat senses I listened to the girly talk below all while grinning madly (kind of like the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland's World. I had the pleasure of meeting him, what a delightful little kitty!).

"OH! His ears are so soft!"

"He's so cute!"

"Who's his maker?"

"Where'd'ya get him!"

"I want one!"

"What all can he do?"

The blood slowly rose to Inuyasha's head as he went from confused to highly irritated. Ah yes, just the thing to bring him off his high and mighty pedestal. He will never treat ME like a little kid again! Bwahahahahaha, Wahahahahahaha. Oh yes, Inuyasha most certainly did not function well in the world of Chobits. Hehehehe!

I continued to watch as the famous Chi and her Hideki approached my rage inflicted Inuyasha. Minmei quickly ran forward to explain the situation and she smiled apologetically. Damn, she just had to find away to get him out of trouble didn't she?

As Hideki nodded understandingly the rest of the group came closer. Miroku stood next to Inuyasha and I could just imagine his confusion. As much as I admired him, Miroku really should have watched more Anime, then he might understand how best to deal with his situation. Ah well, his loss! Zelda conveniently chased the crowd away while Eriol scanned the roof tops.

"Well, I don't have room to house all of you, but I know someone who does." Hideki said smiling. "Chi, please send Minoru an e-mail that we're coming."

She smiled. "Okay!"

Damn. They found a place to hide. That stupid Minoru had actually agreed to let them stay at his house! On the other hand, it certainly had plenty of places for me to hide in and still watch the little group.

Zelda hid in the bathroom trying to do something to her hair. That or she followed her womanly instinct and just wanted to check out the bathroom. Miroku and Inuyasha were talking about battle plans to defeat Naraku even though they already knew exactly how he would kick the bucket. And that left Eriol and Minmei in the living room chatting, thanking, and just in general buttering up their host.

But every once in a while Eriol would pause in his sucking up and scan the room. His eyes always seemed to pause wherever I happened to be located for the moment.

All of a sudden Zelda came running into the room and screamed. "My hair! My hair!"

The four of us peered closely and saw several strands of flaming pink hair.

"Calm down Zelda, calm down. Your hair is just fine."

"But I don't HAVE pink hair! It's not natural!"

"Actually..." Eriol said slowly, "According to the Anime Laws pink hair is natural. But this," he fingered the strands. "I can sense is not..." He looked around and smiled at me. "...Something I come across often."

"See! My natural hair color is brown, not pink. I was in the bathroom trying to dye my hair blond when I saw the strands." She insisted.

Eriol began smiling sadistically. Another law had just been broken. Minmei shook her head sadly, that made a total of twenty-six broken laws. She sighed. "I need to go for a walk. Perhaps I'll look for Bob." And Minmei left.

Meanwhile, I decided to follow Miroku as he wandered about the house, going from room to room, place to place. He was very boring until he went outside. Then things got interesting.

Miroku could, apparently, gain quite a following in a very, very short amount of time. After only two blocks of walking no less then two grown women, five teenage girls, and three small children began following him. He didn't even realize it! The following doubled in number with each block he passed and soon he could no longer ignore them.

Looking over his shoulder, Miroku mumbled. "You know, it just isn't the same without the chase." He sighed.

Then the female, having seen him glance back, decided to mob him. Now as manly as Miroku was, a mob of one hundred and fifty people still caused him to run and me to laugh.

This little jaunt was turning out better then expected.

Then I spotted Minmei in a not so dark and creepy alley backing away from something with a look of horror on her face. As she and the thing came into the light, I understood why she looked so panic stricken. The man in front of her was huge! And packing more then just a little heat. He had six, SIX, huge visible guns! And teeny tiny eyes.

Hehehehehehe!

"Bob," A voice boomed around me. "This little side trip has been enjoyable, but I do believe the next crisis has occurred, Besides Zelda is currently trying to fix one of Minoru's perscom which is trying to hack Chi for some strange reason. Musical Omnipotence is not working here!"

"Okay, okay Eriol." And I snapped my fingers.

**Broken Laws**

# 31 Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#35 Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on...especially if they have never attempted these things before.

#38 Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the yes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect behind the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39 Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice versa.

First corollary- Unfortunately this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

**So, anyone confused yet?  How 'bout spelling errors? anyone find any of those? Review and tell me!**


	9. The Staff of Tim

**Anime's that appear in this chapter: Inuyasha, CardCaptors, and the Wish Bunny and Monty Python's Enchanter Tim's Staff**

**The wish bunny: Okay, my friends and I are having Wish Bunny and Eriol sightings. I mean think about it, how often can they be seen in different Animes?**

**Tim's staff: exactly what it sounds like a staff...but shoots fire.**

**Ohhh, and the wonderful world of fanfiction appears in this chapter too...heh, heh, heh...**

**Author note: I fixed the spelling for the first few chappies, so there's that, and I want to thank everyone for reviewing (I really need to do that more often...sigh).**

**Eriol insisted that he did not need to introduce himself as everyone would automatically know it was him telling the story...yea...**

**Chapter 9: The Staff of Tim**

Well, we were screwed. Yep, royally screwed. All six of us were floating around in space unable to see anything. It took all of six seconds for _everyone_ to panic. Inuyasha was the second one the panicpanicked; I was first. From there, things just got a whole lot _better._

"Wonderful, just great Bob! What in the name of the Anime Laws did you do?" Minmei moaned.

I thought this might be a good time to tell everyone just where we were. "I do believe, we have landed in the Realm of Fanfiction. And this is the place of ideas."

Inuyasha and Miroku had absolutely no idea as to what this meant, but nonetheless looked appropriately horrified.

Zelda started walking back and forth on the empty darkness. "How did we get here?"

Bob, scuffing his feet and looking at the ground, mumbled, "I don't know, we just sort of ended up here."

But I grinned. How could they be so stupid? "It's very simple. Our job was never to prevent the worlds from colliding, but instead to prevent the breaking of the Anime Laws. Unfortunately we have just now realized this."

Everyone stared, not really sure what to do now, especially since we had broken many of those laws. That's when Zelda screamed.

Immediately a ship loomed shockingly close to our small group. It was the ugliest, dirtiest, grungiest ship in existence and defied both the Laws of Topological Aerodynamics and Sonic Amplification.

As we watched it pass by, it was clear that only gravity pulled the ship along. Six bright yellow rays shot out simultaneously and hit each one of us. Then, as if we were fish, the beings on the ship reeled us in.

Immediately, a large group of creatures (for there was no other word to describe them) surrounded us and started clucking in their own strange language. Inuyasha, who had not learned this whole trip, reached for his Tetsusiaga and promptly fell over. The creatures mobbed him. And the rest of our party rushed to his side while I laughed.

"Excuse me," I said politely. "But my companions and I are from another world. We do not know where we are."

The creatures nodded to one another and one stepped forward. "You come from OTHER realm, the one with all the laws. This is realm of chaos and nonsense. But we no hell bent on you destruction."

Bob smiled widely. "I have a few questions about this ship. Just how fast does it more?"

"When we have fuel, about fifty miles an hour, not very fast. But we do have mecha that move mush slower."

I shook my head in disgust. "How horrible!"

A laser blast rocked the ship.

"It is our sworn enemies, the Bubblebutts."

The wall in front of us immediately became a means of communication. The fluffiest, cutest little bunny appeared on the screen cackling evilly. "Surrender now or we will bite off your heads!"

"Hey!" Zelda yelled. "Isn't that the Wish Bunny?!" Well that certainly quieted up the room, both us and the Bubblebutts. "Well, the look like it!" She insisted.

"Now you will all die!" The enraged BubbleButt screamed.

The creatures around us clicked in their own language and began rushing about the hold. The six of us were sort of lost in the craziness of their actions. "You might want to find something to hold on to. Our tactical Genius says we should fire the galactic canon and destroy them."

"Is that your most powerful weapon?" Inuyasha asked looking excited.

"Yes." The creatures replied.

"No wait!" Zelda yelled again. "I'll just sing! Law of Militaristic Unreliability!"

Everyone glanced at everyone else. "Well..." Minmei started to say, but Zelda had already approached the wall and opened her mouth.

"Twinkle Twinkle..." She warbled off key and the Bubblebutts squealed in horror.

"Must destroy evil song! Prepare to fire Tim's Staff!"

This huge wooden staff came out of the hull and pointed towards our ship. There was no time for an energy build up, Tim's Staff fired a gigantic fireball that rushed towards the ship.

Then it all disappeared. "This is stupid. I really need to stop watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail!"

And I knew where we were.

**

* * *

**

**"_Yea, well, he does." The bartender leaned over the bar. "He actually agrees with the American Editors and Censors."_**

**"_Oh, my." Cole leaned back in his chair and looked at the drunk. "Well...what does one say to that?"_**

_**The bartender poured another whiskey. "I'm just waitin' for the police to swoop down here and arrest him. It's only a matter of time now."**_

_**"What's his name anyway?"**_

**_"Hiroshi."

* * *

_**

**Broken Laws**

#3 Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space constant thrust equals constant velocity

#5 Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#13 Law of Energetic Emissions- There is always and energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'budge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14 Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive power of any object is inversely proportional to its mass.

First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#20 Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single, insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, Starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses

#21 Law of Tactical Unreliability- tactical geniuses aren't...

#27 Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

#30 Law of Non- Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason

#33 Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics- ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic


	10. Currently Untitled

**Anime's that appear in this Chapter: Inuyasha, CardCaptors**

**Inuyasha: Yes I am going to say something about this anime for this chapter! Kouga is a wolf demon who thinks Kagome is his woman. Inuyasha hates Kouga and they're always fighting about her. The Tenseiga is Inuyasha's brother's sword. Inuyasha and his brother are mortal enemies.**

**Author's note: Eriol, deciding to be contrary gave introduction for this chapter…he irritates…sometimes…usually when he's planning to take over the world…**

**Chapter 10 Currently Untitled**

Why, hello, I have agreed to tell the entirety of out excursion on the world of FanFicion. So let us continue on with the tale.

"What just happened?" Inuyasha stupidly asked.

I shook my head at his obvious lack of intelligence and laughed as he was immediately transformed. We all did upon seeing him dressed in a powder blue tuxedo. Miroku in particular found it so humorous that he fell down on the non-existent ground rolling in a fit of giggles.

"What is this?" Inuyasha demanded.

"This place, this is the home of the imagination of Allychik6." I smiled brightly. "It would explain the Monty Python comment and that exact shade of blue you happen to have on, Inuyasha."

"Damn it all!" Inuyasha muttered darkly. "What now?"

"Well, now we wait and see. This is Allychik6's mind. Some of the most random things stem from her brain." Bob said in that undeniably happy tone.

It didn't take long. Off in the distance a road scrolled towards us, stopping and Inuyasha's feet. A white mask covered his eyes and a bamboo sword materialized in his hand. As everyone watched Inuyasha, I turned my attention to our surroundings.

The road was lined by two corn fields and a house stood on the far edge of one of the fields. A line of trees ringed the small cottage and the sky turned a shade of black that even the stars refused to shine through.

"Inuyasha, I challenge thee to a duel," A man appeared on the road. "A duel for Kagome." I immediately recognized him as Kouga.

From Kouga, I glanced at Inuyasha and realized that in this world there was no moon. Not a trace of demon blood remained in his veins. Well, this would prove and entertaining fight.

"Kouga, I'll slit you from navel to nose before I let you lay a hand on Kagome!" Inuyasha drew his wooden sword and thrust it towards his enemy—

--In vain. Kouga drew his superior metal sword (it looked suspiciously like the tetsusuiga) and sliced the wooden one in half. Well, have to give him points for knowing how to chop wood…maybe.

"Damn!" Inuyasha claimed.

Suddenly Zelda flew up into the air and began twirling about. Apparently in this world, she had unknown powers. A white ribbon danced its way around her as part of the transformation.

"On no you don't!" Kouga cried jumping up and grabbing the ribbon. This, of course, stopped the transformation and caused Zelda to come crashing back down to the earth. Miroku rushed to her side as he would for any beautiful woman. She smacked him of course.

"And now for the killing blow" Kouga threw his sword in the air and yelled "Long live the tensaga!"

And he promptly disappeared; no damage was done.

"Well, thank goodness he's gone." Bob ran his fingers through his hair. "Look! Let's go over there!" He dashed through the corn field towards the meager hut.

Great, just great, how did I get myself involved in such a venture and with such people?

Night officially fell just as we reached the house. No light existed anyway at all, none, Zippo, not even a spark. Everyone filed into the house, well, everyone except Inuyasha.

He paused at the door. "Uhh, I'll sleep outside. There doesn't look to be enough room for all of us, so, umm, I'll just—"

"What? Is there a GIRL waitin' for you in the corn?" Bob, in his usual style, loud and obnoxious, shouted out the door.

"No Stupid!" I just don't want to sleep in the same room as you!" Inuyasha screamed back and slammed the door in our faces.

"Wow, must be one hellova girl!" Zelda whistled as we all stared at the door. I swear that girl would believe me if I told her the sky was falling.

"That, or he's real embarrassed about something." Minmei turned around and observed the empty room. "Well, I'm going to sleep and that corner is mine."

And thus the very long day of traveling through the Anime worlds ended.

_

* * *

_

_"What's his name anyway?"_

_"Hiroshi."_

_And then Hiroshi stood up, downed his last whiskey, and took a deep breath. "Well, gents it's been nice listening to you chat, but I must be going now." And he walked out of the door._

_Cole stared. "I tought he was drunk..."_

_A young child sitting farther down the counter lowered the paper he was reading. "You didn't know? For him, after so many drinks Hiroshi ceases to be drunk."_

**Broken Laws**

#41 Law of Xylolaceration- wooden or Bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#44 Law of Nominative Clamovocation- The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at whichthe full name of an attack is announced.

#45 Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46 Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.


	11. the end

**This is the last chapter of the story, or rather second to last, but I should think that you would by now understand Inuyasha and Card Captors. No other new Anime's appear in the chapter. Be sure to stay tuned for the bonus chapter!**

**Author note: All the Laws have been broken, if you find a law I forgot to tell you was broken please review and tell me so I can fix it.**

**Example: #1 Law of Metaphysical Irredularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply**

**Chapter 11: the end**

**Ralton**

"You LIED to me, you LIED to my people and thus the mission FAILED!" I screamed into the phone. "And if you even THINK of putting my team on trial, I'll fry your ass like onions!"

"That was harsh." Erin remarked calmly while filing away at her nails. "He didn't know and besides, no harm, no foul. You know this problem will just get lost in paper work anyway."

"Damn, stupid, higher-ups and their insane obscene compulsions with secrecy!" The words oozed from my mouth.

"Ralton, dear, you don't tell anyone very much about your world domination plots." Erin scolded. "Cut them a little slack."

"Fine, fine, fine," I mumbled unhappily. Erin had this way about her that demanded no arguments. "At least I got my door—"

"Senkontesu!" The door crashed to the floor in tiny pieces.

"Damn."

"Where's Kagome?"

"Hello again Inuyasha." I sighed. "What do you want thins time?"

"You promised to get Kagome out of jail if I went on the stupid mission for you!" He screamed.

"She was released earlier yesterday morning. It seems you can't kill someone who's already dead and all the charges were dropped."

"You mean you sent me on that wild, crazy chase for absolutely no reason!" He stormed towards my desk.

"Inuyasha," I smiled sadistically. "Sit!"

**Miroku**

"It was a really fun time, you should have come with us!" I told Songo excitedly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself dear, but I do have one question; whatever happened to that stuffed hippo?"

I burst into laughter. "That's the beauty of it! Inuyasha still has it!"

**Bob**

Eriol and I sat together, sharing a bottle of port. "See Eriol, I told you, all those laws can be broken in one plot line. Now, hand over the Clow Staff…"


	12. Bonus Chapter

**Bonus Chapter**

Welcome to the bonus chapter…

"Where is it? Where is it? Which one of you took it?" (That's me, the author!) Allychik6 demanded of the poor occupants of the room. "Who did it?"

Each person glanced at the others, but none dared to speak. Well, except Erin, but she feared no one or thing. "Allychik6 what are you talking about?" She calmly filed her nails.

"Someone, one of you stupid people, stole my note book!" She screamed.

While everyone else coward in the chairs, Erin remained perfectly upright. "Allychik6, you have so many notebooks, which one did you lose?"

"The blue one! The one I started for Broken Laws two!"

"Oh the horror!" Someone mumbled (I suspect Miroku, but I didn't see who).

"One of you took it! And I want to know who! It was you wasn't it Ralton! You STOLE my notebook!"

Ralton shrank in his chair. "I've done no such thing!"

"Liar! Liar! LIAR!" Allychik6 screamed (I have a little temper now don't I?).

"Was that a blue notebook?" Zelda suddenly piped up and Allychik6 was immediately at her side.

(Now I'll take a moment to describe the room. Erin sat on the only desk in the room, as was her habit, while everyone else sat in chairs. Ralton, Inuyasha, and Miroku all sat fidgeting nervously in their chairs. Minmei, Eriol, and Bob looked anxious but did not act out that feeling. Or, in other words, no one knew what Allychik6 (ME!) would do in this state and they were afraid, but trying to hide it)

"YES!"

"I saw someone running down the hall with it yesterday. He was dressed entirely in red and had long silver---" Zelda didn't even get to finish her stupid sentence.

"WHAT!!!" Allychik6 turned and stormed towards Inuyasha's chair.

But the chair had been vacated. Allychik6 glared and then peered underneath it. "Where is my notebook?"

"I-I-I do-do-don't KNOW!" He wailed.

She (That's me!) jerked him up by the collar. "What do you _mean_ you don't know?" He voice pierced through the air like steel.

"I-I-I-I ra-a-an into-to-to Miroku an-an-and h-he-he-he—"

And Allychik6 was off interrogating Miroku, getting Inuyasha off the hook. Unfortunately Miroku looked ready to be fried, probably with a little butter…

"It must have gotten mixed up with the stuff I was taking to Minmei."

Minmei immediately started fidgeting and tried to make a run for the door (Hehehe, no one likes me when I'm angry!). But Allychik6, in a desperate attempt to get her notebook back, used her authoress powers to strap Minmei to the chair (hehehehe, I have authoress powers, hehehehe). A single light bulb appeared above her head and Allychik6 held a long silver gun in her hand (I like swords better, but a gun fits better in a scene like this, sigh). She rubbed it in a gentle sort of way that said 'Don't mess with me I have a gun and I'm not afraid to use it!'

"Now, Minmei, what happened on the night of the twenty-first of October?" (Why that date? Who cares?)

Minmei visibly gulped. "Ummm, well, you seem when I saw the notebook I panicked and—" Her eyes flitted across the room. "—ummm and ummm—"

(At this point I must interrupt again, purely to note that Bob tried to leave the room with his powers, but couldn't. Allychik6 took this as an admission of guilt and had him tied and gagged in a manner of seconds. It's actually quiet funny to see, He squirmed uncomfortably looking like a beached fish and then slowly crawled across the floor. By the time he reached the door, Allychik6 had finished her questioning of Minmei.)

"So, Bob, Minmei put on a pair of gloves, sneaked down the hall, and left the notebook in Ralton's office. But before she left, Minmei saw signs of you also leaving the room. Is that true?"

Bob managed a small nod.

"Did you take my notebook from Ralton's office?"

Again he nodded.

"And then what did you do with it?" (Finally! A sword appeared in Allychik6's hand and she pointed it at Bob, slicing through his gag. Swords are good, very good.)

"I mailed it to Eriol!" He gasped.

(Okay, a knock came from the door and Ralton's poor assistant Tim entered the room. He took one look around, screamed, and threw the package in his hand across the floor. "Package for you sir!" He yelled before fleeing the room. I love my ability to frighten people!)

Allychik6 dive-bombed the package and shredded the brown paper. "Aha! Eureka! Now, you buggers better hope it's not been tampered with." She clutched the notebook to her chest, gave one final glare at everyone, and stomped out of the room.

(It took a few minutes, but everyone did let out a sigh of relief. The worst was over. Hehehehe, I inspire such fear. I love it! Okay, so everyone calmed down, well, until they heard the malicious, sadistic laughter from the hall. Ah yes, my evil laugh.)

The door crashed open and Allychik6 stood there in her typical ass kicking stance. She pointed her rapier at Eriol. "You, come with me."

(The funeral march played in the background and suddenly everyone was dressed in black. They all stood and bowed, each mumbling some sympathy towards Eriol. Oh yea baby!)

More laughter came from the hall and everyone shifted nervously awaiting the outcome.

Allychik6 popped her head back in the door smiling. "You are all free to go." And she popped back out.

Everyone sighed in relief again and then the door creaked open again. Eriol smiled wildly. "Oh, Bob, I'd like the Clow Staff back."

"Ha! Not on your life! I won the bet!"

Eriol just continued smiling. "Perhaps SHE didn't mention, I'm the new muse. And wouldn't it be just terrible if she learned some new rather devastating things to be used in Broken Laws 2?"

Oh shit.

**Author note: I don't have a stirring peice of critisium picked out for this story yet...But I'll get one!!**


End file.
